Woman’s Voice

Bali Undercover by Malcolm Scott [2015: EO]

Bali Undercover by Malcolm Scott [2015: EO]

When I published “Bule Hunter: Money, Sex and Love”  in September 2014, I received a stream of criticism in the net from many people. I would have understood that they criticized my book after they read it but they have not. They criticized it based on some media coverages. Those are including many Indonesian  women, who are in relationship with Western Men and feel offended with my writing as well as other people are who simply narrow minded.

Some of them said that it was just a bunch of gossip, some of them said that it’s not a journalism work because it’s very subjective yadda yadda yadda (Well honey, it’s hard to find an objective journalism work these days. Media is controlled by companies who are linked to govt). Anyway, there were big wave of nasty comments coming toward me. It was terrifying! 

Frankly, I was shocked reading those comments. I refused to read further for few weeks. But I must say that I am grateful because  those haters actually  inspired me  to write my next book. 

So when I went to  Times Bookstore in Plaza Singapura, I saw this book and purchased one. I read nearly half of the book within few hours over few glasses of Chardonnay. Since I read the title, I already assumed that it would have similar content to my book Bule Hunter. And YES IT IS! 

It talks about Indonesian women, Western men, Indonesian men, western women,money, sex and  relationship. However, it seems nobody attacking the Australian author Malcolm Scott. At least, I didn’t hear about it. 

Is it because the author is a man? Is it because the author is a Westerner? Or is it because he choose a soft title instead of Bule Hunter?! Or is it because it’s written in English and doesn’t get a lot of media exposure in Indonesia (if I understand correctly)? 

Oh well, we are still living in an era and place where women can hardly say their voices loudly and bluntly! 

Cheers,

Oktofani

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Gossiping

The reason why people like to talking bad about other people or gossiping because that’s the only way to put themselves in the conversation and other’s people mind.

While normally they would not be in anybody’s mind.They realize that they are nobody, living nobody’s life and they want to be noticed.

So…. anything that ‘nobody’ can say to put themselves in the mind or on the mouth of somebody, that is what they are going to do and continue to do. Right?

 

Norwegian Men and Import Brides

Last week the documentary focused on Norwegian men and ‘import brides’. It is commonly known amongst Norwegians that Norwegian men import brides because Norwegian women don’t consider them ‘a catch’. So Norwegian men look elsewhere. When it comes to Norwegians marrying someone abroad certain trends have developed over the years. Currently most Norwegian women who marry from abroad marry from Sweden, Denmark and the UK.

Most Norwegian men who marry from abroad marry women firstly from Thailand, secondly from Russia and thirdly from the Philippines. The import brides have clear reasons for their marriage choice: Russian women marry Norwegian men because of the ‘Norwegianess’ – meaning that Norwegian men are more domesticated than Russian men therefore Russian women have less domestic responsibility and more ‘freedom’. South-east Asian woman marry Norwegian men because they want to up-grade their lifestyle and also use it as a means to support their family in Thailand.  Read the rest here

Katanya Cowok Bule Lebih Pintar dan Open-Minded

Bicara soal cinta, banyak kawan saya yang mengatakan bahwa salah satu alasan mereka memilih bule ketimbang laki-laki Indonesia karena mbak bule hunter merasa bahwa mas bule cenderung open-minded, pandai dan berwawasan luas. Namun, pertanyaan saya adalah apakah yang dimaksud dengan open-minded tersebut? Apa yang membuat mas bule lebih pandai ketimbang pria-pria dari ras lain?

Well… ngomong-ngomong masalah open-minded, apa sih yang sebenernya diharapkan oleh mbak bule hunter tipe ini? Jawabannya sederhana saja! Mbak bule hunter tipe ini ingin mengekspresikan diri tanpa dibatasi dengan norma sosial, aturan agama atau adat istiadat yang berlaku di tengah masyarakat Indonesia.

Tipe mbak bule hunter ini biasanya adalah tipe perempuan Indonesia modern yang mengenyam bangku pendidikan yang cukup berkualitas dan memiliki akses terhadap informasi yang luas.

Sebagaimana kita semua tahu bahwa banyaknya suku bangsa yang tersebar di Indonesia mengakibatkan negara kita kaya akan budaya. Di mana meskipun di tengah deras arus modernisasi dan globalisasi yang masuk ke Indonesia, sebagian besar masyarakat Indonesia masih menjunjung tinggi nilai budaya bangsa yang dimiliki termasuk norma sosial dan aturan agama.

Perempuan Indonesia yang merokok, minum alkohol atau kerap pulang malam kerap dicap sebagai ‘perempuan nakal’. Atau perempuan yang menggunakan baju seksi adalah ‘perempuan murahan’. Atau perempuan yang gonta-ganti pacar adalah ‘perempuan gampangan’. Dan sebagainya… dan sebagainya…

Banyak sekali norma sosial yang udah enggak lagi ideal dengan perkembangan zaman sehingga membuat banyak perempuan enggak bisa mengekspresikan diri mereka. Sehingga, banyak perempuan Indonesia modern yang akhirnya memilih laki-laki bule karena mereka enggak terlalu terikat oleh norma-norma sosial yang berlaku. Meskipun harus saya akui bahwa sebenernya enggak semua laki-laki Indonesia akan berpikir negatif terhadap perempuan Indonesia modern tersebut.

Namun, pertanyaan yang kemudian muncul adalah apakah semua bule open-minded? Atau bule open-minded seperti apa yang ingin mbak bule hunter temui? Jawabannya sederhana, mas bule yang dapat memberikan respect and honesty.

Oh iya…. selain open-minded, mbak bule hunter tipe ini pun memilih laki-laki bule karena mereka menganggap laki-laki bule pandai dan berpengetahuan luas. Sehingga selain mbak bule hunter ini bisa mengekspresikan diri sepenuhnya sebagai perempuan, mereka pun bisa diajak diskusi tentang isu-isu yang hangat dibicarakan oleh media.

Well… sebenernya jika masalah lebih pandai dan berpengetahuan luas, sebenernya banyak juga kok laki-laki Indonesia yang pandai dan berpengetahuan luas. Apalagi di era globalisasi seperti saat ini di mana sebagian besar orang memiliki akses pada teknologi informasi dan pendidikan yang lebih berkualitas, termasuk laki-laki Indonesia.

Namun, karena orang Indonesia sudah terlalu jauh dan terbiasa mengagung-agungkan bule maka bule kerap tampaknya lebih pandai dan berpengetahuan lebih daripada orang Indonesia. Padahal, belum tentu semua bule itu jenius dan berpengetahuan luas.

-Oktofani-